Say Yes ll Clam
samevan-s:
Hearing Clair bring up what he referred to as their “dark period” caused him to frown and his nerves to heighten. Sam knew it couldn’t be a avoided and this was a very big part of their past. Just because they were able to work through it doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. Listening to her say how angry she was with him hurt, but it was to nobody’s fault but his own. He knew the effect their break up would had on her but at the end of the day it needed to be done, even if only for himself. “I didn’t mean for it to feel like I was abandoning you Clair. I guess in hindsight I probably could have done it better…maybe given you more of a warning, but…” he began bringing his hand up to cup her cheek to ensure that she was looking at him. “I don’t regret it because we’re going to be better for it,” he said swallowing thickly. “I think maybe we needed this time to figure our own stuff out, so maybe one day we could be together again. And stronger,” he said running his thumb across her cheek.
“I can’t say this enough but Clair I am so sorry.” He couldn’t promise that they’d never be in that position again. Sam couldn’t predict the outcome of their relationship and he knew she would call bullshit if he made empty promises. “Look Clair we both have no idea how things are going to end up for us. Maybe you’ll wake up tomorrow and realize I’m still just a big goofball and you’re tired of babysitting me,” he said with a smirk just trying to ease the tension. “But I learned one thing from all of this, Clair. I never want to be without you again. I didn’t just lose my girlfriend but I lost my best friend. I really can’t afford to lose another best friend,” he said with a sad smile. “I’m going to fight to keep you this time. It’s what I should have done in the first place.”
Clair’s eyes stayed to the floor as she listened to Sam speak. It was difficult for her to listen to him say anything about that time. Even mentioning it left her somewhere between hurt and angry. She’d be lying if she said that she’d worked through all her issues there. While she’d made what she thought was good personal progress, she wasn’t all the way there yet. Sam’s hand on her face made her look up and she did her best not to cry. This whole big reunion thing would be fucked up if she ended up sobbing over it.
She nodded slightly, knowing Sam was right. The breakup really had done them some good. Now she knew for sure that she could stand alone and do whatever she wanted, but what she wanted was not to do it alone. Having Sam back by her side in every capacity made going through life easier. It was what she hated most about them. He made it so easy for her to be dependent on him, but this time around she was going to make sure they were more equal. This time around they’d be better.
Listening to Sam apologize helped mend old wounds. It sounded silly because he hadn’t even done anything wrong but she needed to hear that he was sorry. She wasn’t even really sure why but his apology made it a little easier to be less mad at him. When he mentioned her getting sick of him, Clair opened her mouth to speak up before realizing he was joking. She smiled and shook her head, typical Sam always ready to ease the tension with a joke or silly remark. “Call me crazy but I think five months of being apart was more than enough for now. So, I’m gonna keep you around,” she yawned loudly and rubbed at her eyes, “That’s one issue down, I guess. What should we work on next?”
(Source: clair-sommers)